A Week of Unknowing Rest

Sharpening body, mind, heart, and soul

I’m the type of person who keeps on going, like the Energizer Bunny. I always have a plan—an A plan and a B plan. I even plan not to plan, but this is who I am (See I Am Who I am). Several years ago, the year before I became a-woman-of-a certain-age, I decided to release my planning frenzy. I’m not as overly planned as I once was, but when I reflect on my life I realize as an Energizer Bunny, I had no choice but to plan. I have also learned that planning also means resting, self-care is the term these days. However, self-care without guilt did not come easy for me.

A snapshot of a woman who keeps on going.
One fall semester, I taught seven classes at two schools, served on a committee for the union advocating more money for adjuncts, and taught Sunday school class while taking a Victorian Literature class. During another college semester, I began studying for my oral comprehensive exam. However, I taught four classes at two schools and managed a part-time position in the grants department at an arts organization. Although I took a sabbatical from teaching Sunday School, I continued tithing my gift of layout and page design for special event flyers as well as chairing our Black History Month celebration.

One Sunday, during fellowship, the pastor asked me to sit and talk with him. The last thing I had time for was more talking and sitting.

He said, “Sis. Hooks you’re always in motion.”

I said, “It’s who I am. I’m working three jobs right now.”

I’m sure we chatted for less than ten minutes before I bolted out the door because I had recently met with my oral comps committee and each one suggested ten books for my reading list. Sitting and chatting was the last thing on my to-do list. Even when I sat for a pedicure, I was reading. When I walked on the treadmill, I was reviewing notes or listening to an audiobook. At night, I cuddled next to a laptop, a journal, and a book or a research papers to grade.

In my state of motion, I did not lose sight of my family. When invited, I visited my daughter in Buffalo and my daughter in Oswego and spent time with my mother.

Self-care without the guilt
How can a woman like me simply give into rest without guilt? During the 2018 Lenten Season, I read a daily devotion about the practice of living a simple life, Simplifying the Soul and another book that challenged me to exam my busyness, Addicted to Busy. Based on theories, ideas, practices ad self-examination here’s what I took away during my forty-day journey:
I am addicted to busy because I overestimate my energy and my time. I put too much on my plate while quoting the scripture “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13) without realizing I don’t have to do all things. By doing all things, I become a perfectionist with the need to control and nitpick.

Most importantly, when I am busy, in motion, the Energizer Bunny I cannot hear God, nor am I listening to Him as I should.

Self-care is not a crime; after all, Jesus rested. I am not Jesus, but I do follow and adhere to His philosophy for a better life.

When Rest Fell Upon Me
I do not learn until I put the knowledge into practice. The moment I defended my dissertation, my husband said, “You’ll need to rest. You’re in a new season.” I didn’t. I taught two classes that required commuting five hours and 30 minutes one day a week, and 90 minutes two days a week. During the semester, January through May, I had planned birthday parties for my daughters, one turned 21 the other 25, I planned an event at our church, my graduation dinner and I attended several social engagements.

The week after the last celebration, I did not leave the house before 10:30 a.m. My morning started with a daily devotion, chatting with my husband, making breakfast, eating breakfast with my husband and then making him lunch for work. This is a normal routine, only I’m not rushed and I sit and eat and enjoy my breakfast.

When the house was empty, I began the practice of Simplifying the Soul. I meditated for 15 minutes, this is hard; my mind wanders. I wrote in my prayer journal, I read for the fifth time the beginning of the Gospel of John. I kept losing my place so I had to restart each time. I completed 23 minutes of a 30-minute yoga session, then showered and headed off to Queens to visit my aunt and uncle. I returned home by 6 p.m. and took my daughter to Dollar General for snacks. Our scheduled trip to the supermarket rescheduled.

Tuesday after my husband goes to work, I repeated the morning routine, without a yoga session. Instead, I scrubbed every inch of the fridge, the cabinet doors, launder three loads including sheets, blankets, and rugs. We’ve had guests for two weeks. I vacuumed and dusted and polished the table. To keep my momentum, I picked up my daughter from school. We head to the supermarket. After two weeks of guest and a storm that left us without power for 22 hours, the fridge was empty. Of course, a few errands in between—post office, cleaners, after-school snack, and eyebrows waxed. I returned home, showered and waited for my husband to pick me up for Bible Study. After Bible Study and a meeting, he and I sat down at our favorite diner.

Wednesday morning, I completed my routine with a 40-minute yoga session, continuous reading of the Gospel of John, three or four pages of prayer journaling. I packed a light lunch and head out the door for self-care: manicure, wax, and hair. I am floating. I returned home to ice cream and blueberries while watching the movie Great Debaters. Of course, I’m adding this film to my literature syllabus, so I take copious notes. Since my husband will be home late, no cooking. Instead, I watch another movie, Love Beats Rhyme, which I will add to my introduction to poetry workshop unit. I’ve wanted to add new films to my curriculum but have been too busy.

Thursday morning, I completed a 50-minute weight loss yoga session, revised a poem that was rejected, read emails and lollygagged. Then I made a delicious 30-minute meal—salmon burgers with grilled onions, mushrooms and avocado with baked zucchini fries. Afterward, my husband and I went on a movie date: Avengers.

Intentional “Bedhead Day”

The next five days, I’m so relaxed all I wanted to do was nothing without feeling guilty. I was finally able to capture the “bedhead day” stressed in the book Addicted to Busy. The author stresses a sabbath day of rest with no plans, no agenda, no time limits. I had a week of sharpening my saw—body, mind, heart, and soul, spending time with God, self, and family.

The Energizer Bunny finally understands that she doesn’t have to be in motion all the time, and what needs to be done will get done.