Sharpening your Saw: Mind, Body, Heart & Spirit
While driving to the hair salon for a 10:30 appointment, I thought about why people of God have turned away from him. I thought about how I, one of God’s servants had turned away from him not once but three times. I considered myself a three-time backslider. I’m not proud of it, but I have turned my back on God. I’m ashamed for betraying his love because he continued to pursue me when I turned away. That’s a love that exceeds all love. It’s called agape love. Agape love is the Greek word for unconditional. Agape love is a sacrificial love that voluntarily suffers inconvenience, discomfort, and even death for the benefit of another without expecting anything in return. And God’s love taught me that I am more than that.
But more than what, you ask?
I can remember a season when I identified as a writer. I was a writer first, before being a mother, sister, friend, wife or even a Christian. During that season I couldn’t see beyond being a writer, I could not imagine doing anything other than writing. I was consumed with the writer’s life. I studied it, I read magazines articles about it, I went to writer’s groups, I longed to be a writer. I scheduled my life around finding time to write. I wrote for various magazines and newspapers. Had my heart broken with rejection after rejection and the famous editor’s response: “This story is not right for us.” Despite the rejections, the tears, and the heartache, I wanted to be a writer. However, being a writer became problematic when I couldn’t see beyond my life as a writer. Because in my eyes I was only that.
For example, eight months before the death of my younger, and only sister, she said, “Angela, you will teach in a college classroom.” She looked at me with big bold beautiful eyes and said, “I see you in the college classroom and the students will love you.”
I remember telling her I am not a teacher, I am a writer. The evening that she shared her insight about my life was after a literary party for my student writers who had completed my 4-week “Kids Who Write Workshop.” In 2001, I had created, executed, and facilitated a series of writing workshops called The Art of Journal Writing for kids and adults alike. And this was one of the series. And the journey began when I asked God, I prayed, “God, what do you want me to do with these hands?”
When he instructed me and I listened, I still didn’t see myself as a teacher, just a coach motivating others how to maintain a diary and harvest diary pages.
Now, imagine my surprise when a lady from my church insisted I interview for an adjunct position at the local college in the English department. This lady noticed that I was more than a writer. Again, all I wanted to do was write, so I refused to apply for the position because I was completing my MA degree in Creative Writing. The teaching schedule conflicted with my class.
Has there ever been a season in your life, when you couldn’t see beyond the work you were doing? And you worked mightily at that particular task, not seeing its multiple dimensions or your identity other than.
A few weeks ago, I chatted with a retired teacher. She said retiring was the worst thing she could do, what would she do without her job, her identity was steeped in teaching. She’d mastered the curriculum, New York State mandates and all that was required. Thirty years she’d been in the classroom feeding knowledge to young minds. Her aha moment showed her she was not her job, work was not her identity.
The teacher’s story reminded me of a podcast where Oprah talked about the years her identity was steeped in her weight. She bragged on national television about her size ten jeans. But when she had gained five pounds, she refused to attend a party. That was her aha moment: refusing to be seen because she’d gained five pounds. Her aha moment illustrated that her weight was not her identity.
How about you? Is your identity steeped in something that causes you to not move forward?
Yes, I am a writer, but I’m more than that.
Today, I celebrate the God of surprises; I have been called to teach, and it’s been twelve years since I’ve stepped into the academic arena as an instructor, lecturer, and assistant professor. And I teach more than writing. Why? Say it with me, “I’m more than that.”
Until Next time,
I love you!